Key to Humanity: Fear

Two days ago, I sung a solo in my choir in front of hundreds of audience members. So, I find it only fitting that I write my second article of the ‘Key to Humanity’ series on fear because that’s what I felt. I felt it as an aura pervading my body, a shadow peeking out from behind my shoulder, and an abyss beyond the darkness hiding the audience in their seats. This fear was not only saved for the performance, but every practice, and everything thought of it. But throughout it all was the feeling of pride and of passion. Throughout it all was a sense of purpose and the gratitude for every event and every interaction that had led up to this opportunity.

Over the years, my experience with this temporary yet inevitable feeling has taught me that fear is only powerful when you give it power. It is only inevitable in that it comes and goes but it is not everlasting. It is controlling yet holds no control itself. No matter how scary, you are still the one with the choice, if only you remember that.

In many cases, fear can be helpful. It was built into our systems to protect us, like pain. But in today’s society, many of the threats that once existed don’t anymore. In the modern world, we do not have to hunt for food or be alert 24/7 in case a predator is nearby. The issue stands that our fears were not manufactured in birth, but were taught to us from the people around us and the media. Sometimes the fear does not even create thoughts like “What will they think?” or “What if I fail?” but simply appear through a fast-beating heart or a stuttering voice. Most of our fears have been drilled into our minds and instigated by cruel people and their judgement. And while fear cannot simply be erased, it can be conquered.

I think this article’s quote is essential for people to understand. Many people try to pretend they aren’t afraid at all to act brave, but being brave does not mean you aren’t scared. It means you were able to rise above that fear and do it anyway. I am not encouraging you to never fear or be reckless, but you have to agree that most of the fears you have are limiting you from doing what you truly desire or aspire to do. I love singing, and though I suppose it gets easier with time and practice, the fear of getting on stage and singing in front of people is never going to completely disappear. I understand that I love to sing and I’m not going to give that up because my ego is trying to convince me that a few shallow people are going to judge because they’re not, and if they do, then I know that at least I’m better than them. Maybe I’m not better at singing than they are, but I’m better because I know better than judge someone.

The thing that you fear doesn’t hold power, you do. Your fear doesn’t even give them power, it uses your own power against you. And yes, I know it’s not that easy to simply get over something and that’s not what I’m saying to do, but sooner or later, with time, with support, and with belief, you have to understand that if you want to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve, you have to allow your passion to build up the strength and courage to look it straight in the eye, claim it, and let only the people who truly support you celebrate with you, not the ones who have not yet evolved with the capacity to love another.

So, I know you’ve probably heard this a million times, but you cannot overcome your fear within your comfort zone, safe in your bed. Whether you choose to take baby steps, or dive right into the deep end, the only way to overcome fear is to face it. Ask your loved ones to help you, get support, keep in touch with how you’re feeling and your progress, ground yourself, but please continue trying. I stepped into the career of helping people live their dream lives and learn to love life because I know of its potential and I don’t want to live in a world where people are afraid to be themselves because they have been taught all their life that that is exactly what not to be. Being who you are is ALL you have to be. I believe in you. I don’t care how up or down, left or right, swirly wirly your progress is because I know that it is heading in the right direction. Have courage not so you can seem strong, but so you are able to stand tall enough to see the finish line for yourself.