Key to Humanity: Loneliness

I created this quote because I couldn’t find a fitting quote from the internet. Some were inspirational quotes about how being alone is good because it allows you to understand and be with yourself, which I agree with; some were just flat-out existential crises. I think humans are not only complex beings, but are complicated, simply because we make ourselves so. All of world history has shown us that we like to isolate ourselves from anyone who is even the slightest bit different from us, sometimes even those who are the same. We have evolved so much and yet when things get scarily emotional, our fight or flight senses kick in. We get irrational, angry, or run away from our problems. We can’t perceive just how big Earth is so although there are about eight BILLION people on this planet, we believe there is no one like us, and we’ll never find the right people.

I agree that being alone doesn’t always mean we are lonely. I think everyone enjoys being alone sometimes. We get the chance to tune out all the noise and listen to our own hearts, but the idea that no one is coming to save us, we’re all alone, and we’ll die alone, just creates division. Maybe at times we are PHYSICALLY alone, but we have never been truly alone.

Learning to Love Being Alone

The underlying concept of feeling alone is the feeling of a lack of love. There are many types of love. Love for ourselves, romantic, platonic, and love for everything. There is a difference between wanting human connection and wanting human validation. As social beings, human interaction is what keeps us sane and healthy. So, it’s of course normal to want to hang out with friends or family. However, striving for validation to make yourself feel good enough to simply be yourself or be around others, is soul-damaging. What makes up the eight billion humans on planet Earth are individual people with souls of their own, lives of their own, personalities, and uniqueness. I don’t believe that everyone being special makes everyone ‘normal’ because we’re all special in our own ways. We are all whole. We are not one half of a broken heart; we are like bubbles that simply expand when we collide with another.

Of course, we aren’t bubbles. Think of it as all of us being the ones blowing the bubbles. We blow our bubbles, and we don’t cry or go into hiding when they pop. Sometimes they might even collide with someone else’s bubble. The point is, it is not up to others to determine who we are, what we are capable of, or what we deserve. So again, it’s great to want to socialise with others but if you continue to search for others’ approval because you think you are not worthy enough to simply be, then you are wrong. You are worthy of being you. You are good enough. Your worth is not determined by your looks, or how many friends you have. You are free to be you. So, it’s okay to be alone. It's okay to love being alone. Don’t force yourself to charge your social battery so quick; let it regenerate on its own, on your own timeline. You must first learn to love yourself, so that others can love you the way you deserve and desire.

Finding Connection

The love I strive for and encourage you to learn is the love for everything. So, when I talk about love, I’m not just talking about individual love for a person but the emotion itself. Its wholeness that stretches out to everyone and everything. It is with this love that we understand that we are all whole. And I don’t mean this in a ‘no one else matters and everyone else is just going to disappoint you, so stick to yourself’ way. I mean that we already have all that we need and sometimes it takes others to help us realise that and brighten the light within us all. So again, I couldn’t find the right quote for this article because there were a lot saying that we all need to walk alone on our journeys. Though for some, this may be the case, but for ALL, we couldn’t even begin to walk our paths without some help.

Personally, I know what it feels like to feel lonely even when surrounded with others. Sometimes the people around you, although you like to be them, maybe don’t like the same things you do or don’t want to have certain conversations that you long for. I want you to understand that your people may not be where you are right now. The good news is, they might be close, and they might lead you to more people who share the same goals, aspirations, and visions as you.

If you want to meet people like you, the modern world has given us the opportunity to do so quite conveniently. For example, I’ve met many amazing people, done a few interviews with them, and have been given various opportunities simply by showing up to seminars. The internet allows us to find like-minded people, so reach out to them. My platform is continuously growing all because I had an idea and set out to do it.

The key takeaways that I want you to understand after reading this article are that you are UNIQUE and as much as it is important to be okay with yourself, it’s equally important to connect. We need to meet in the middle. We are INDIVIDUALS that are also part of a larger COMMUNITY. So, appreciate the times you are able to sit alone but don’t settle for isolation. Reach out to the people you are meant to find.