The Full No Bullsh*t Story of How I Became Confident

Okay let me be clear, I’m not fully confident, like I can’t just scream in public out of nowhere and not feel a thing, but in just a short time, I’ve become a lot more confident in who I am and my future. I think it’s time I tell you just how I did that. Well, the thought that most self help figures have crazy stories to tell like getting into a major accident, experiencing a loss, or being humiliated, has always been in the back of my mind since I started this journey. Even though I have had a few bumps along the journey, especially to do with my mental health and self-harm, it still kind of bothers that I haven’t experienced some life-changing event. I suppose I have in my own way and I’m grateful for that. The point is I don’t exactly have a crazy, life-changing moment that just magically made me confident to tell you, the way it happened is a bit more… realistic, so here’s to those who want to become a bit more confident in their lives without waiting for their pants to fall down in front of giant crowd to spark change.

The Power of Affirmation… and Unexpected Circumstances

So, the story starts just about a year ago. An ex of mine entered my life, and I wanted them back. Okay, no judgement here; this was a year, okay? I got into contact, apologised for the past, and tried to win him back, but… nothing. The story should have ended there, but unfortunately, months passed, and being the naïve manifestation girly I was, I started writing affirmations to get him back. I realise that I should’ve let it go, but I understand that everything happens for a reason, and surprisingly that turned out to be the closure I needed. Anyways, through my affirmations, I became more confident in myself. I was writing and repeating phrases that helped me improve my perception of myself. Of course, if you want to manifest someone back, you’ve got to believe you’re actually worthy so that’s exactly what I did. I told myself that I was beautiful and smart and kind. I became proud of myself, obsessed with myself; I came to love myself. That improved self-love and the daily act of caring for myself allowed me to fully believe what I was writing and saying without the need to even formally do it anymore. It led to the developed confidence that I now have.

Belief Systems and Keeping an Open Mind

This isn’t the only event that led to this though. It came from various little experiences, different perspectives, and an evolved belief system. Beliefs are the key to being more confident. You need to look within yourself and figure out what your belief system is and what’s holding you back from achieving your passion and the person you want to be. Seriously think about your beliefs surrounding yourself, your abilities, your talents, passion, and how you perceive others. We have all grown up in different times, in different environments, and around different people which have helped shape who we have become, but they don’t have to determine who we are at the end of the day and who we grow to be.

It’s important to remember that the things you may have grown up with may not be completely accurate or may not represent the bigger picture and that’s okay. We learn, we make mistakes, we experience, and we grow. You don’t need to get everything right in your life. It is because of this that we need to keep an open mind and consider different ways of thinking, different perspectives. Are you afraid of what others will say? Do you think everyone is out to get you? Do you think you are capable of achieving what you are truly passionate about?

Let’s bring this back to my own story. Although, there are a lot of things that I could improve on and more fears to overcome, I feel completely confident in my career and overall future. My future is as unstable and everchanging as it can get. It’s not something you just apply to on Indeed or Seek. I am creating my career with everything that I do. I am building a business from scratch, and I don’t even know exactly what it is yet. But I know that whatever it is, I will succeed. No matter what challenges come my way, I will always find a way. It is thanks to my belief system that I am able to think this way.

Even Bigger Beliefs

Life on Earth can really get you down. It’s so easy to question meaning in anything and wonder whether it’s even worth it. That’s why so many philosophers exist. Billions of people trying to make sense of this funny thing we call ‘life’. There are so many different religions that people devote themselves to, scientific theories, and just general ideas of what we might exist for. Regardless of what you believe it’s all for or what happens after death, these beliefs give people meaning, a sense of security, and something to be grateful for. That’s why not only is it important to respect what others believe, but to discover what we believe in. Now I’m not saying go pick a religion. But if you want to become more confident in yourself and your life, you’ve got to have a sense of purpose which can come from believing in something bigger than yourself. All this being said, you don’t actually need to believe life has a meaning at all. You could believe the universe came to be by coincidence – all the more reason to make the most of it while you’re alive. You could believe we’re here to evolve and learn lessons – all the more reason to improve upon yourself.

My confidence came from a combination of all these things. It wasn’t automatic; it took time and understanding to learn more about myself and who I wanted to be. Self-care and a good mental diet, keeping an open mind, and having a sense of purpose, which all led to a sense of direction. Confidence that my life matters; I matter. And you matter too. Believe in yourself and others will too. That’s how you pave the way to self-development and success in any form you desire.